“You’ll need some birds.” One of they flamingos flapped herself down onto the deck. “Hi, I’m JoLeen. Us birds up above have been yakking at each other while we’ve been keeping your ship moving. We found out that we all took this gig for a lark. But now we’ve bonded and we’re looking to stay together. Like at your new inn, Mr. Bluebeard. We’ll patrol the skies for you. Keep out the riffraff.” She bowed. “And welcome your guests.”
“With bird songs.” One of Bluebeard’s wives name of Imelda piped up. “Nightly concerts on the veranda. Sweet music to send them off to sleep.”
“Um, about that.” JoLeen cleared her throat. “We’re really not songbirds. We try but, well, take a listen. Hit it, birds.” Aye me mateys, they bird chorus it be like a symphony. If’n none of they instruments be in tune. And they musicians is never played a note afore. It shivered all they ship’s timbers.
“OK. OK” Imelda uncovered her ears. “I can work with that. I used to be a music teacher. And we’ve got plenty of time before the first guests come. You’ll be singing like, well like birds, way before then.”
“Nice,” Bluebeard hugged Imelda. “So that’s frogs and rabbits and birds.”
“And us.” One of they gorillas he lumbered up to Bluebeard.
“Ahoy mateys, I be Captain Wilhemina Cook.” Son of a son of a sea dog, thar stood a woman pirate captain. That be shivering a ton o’timbers. But Captain Cook’s electric stink eye made they passengers be swallowing whatever guff they be about to spill.
“And now for the best part,” the captain said, “When me crew they is elected me captain, not all of me swabbies be that forward-looking. Some of those lubbers, they jumped ship first chance they got. So I be here looking to add to me crew. We gots us jobs for all, no matter who or what ye be. Like you, Mr. Ferret. Thar be a rat catcher opening that gots yer name on it.”
Like all his tales, this one be happening on a pirate ship. Howsomever, this not be yer fierce pirate ship of story and song. This ship she was called the Gloomy Gus. Her flag it had it a weeping skull. And her crew they be the scuzziest of the scuzzbags. The sea doggiest of the sea dogs. The – well, you gets the idea.
Then one day the old ship’s doctor had him one too many flagons of ‘medicine’ and fell overboard in the middle of the night. The new doctor rowed out to the ship. He stepped aboard, spotted the crew, sniffed the ship, and wondered what crime he was being punished for. The crew be giving him their usual stink eye, but Morgan went “MROWWRRR” and rubbed against his leg. The doc bent over to give the cat a thank you thump. Wait. He leaned in. Was it – he leaned in closer. “Hey,” he said, “That cat’s…”
“WAKE UP!” Jethro’s dog Spike jumped up and down on their bed.
Baba Blogga Yaga 