SOS: HELP Baba Yaga pick out a do-rag

Happy spring, mateys. Wazzup with you? As for me, I gots hats on me brain. But I not be having a hat on me head. Once upon a time, I had me a regular witch-type hat that tied under me chin so’s it not be blowing away when I paddles me soup bowl. But the March winds they be something fierce. Me hat it flies orf and the knot it squeezes me throat shut. Yar, me hat it almost strangulates me. I wastes no time giving it away to me landlubber witch pal. Now I be on the lookout for a hat that completes me look without cutting orf me circulation.

Stap me vitals! They thought it just smacks me upside the head. I needs a gen-u-wine pirate do-rag like me love Black Jack Higgins and me nanny Fish Guts Malloy. I could conjure one up with me little wand. But it not be a official do-rag with they pirate stamp of approval. So I takes me down to a dusty old shop that be selling all things pirate. They gots them racks and racks of do-rags. Bonus! I picks me out the perfect do-rag so’s I has me a killer head shot for when me book it finds itself a publisher.

Not bonus! They be too many choices. The salesman he be giving me the big-time stink eye after the 23^rd do-rag I tries on. I be giving him the bigger-time stink eye until I finds me the Final Four. And thar I be stuck. Here they be:

I leaves it all up to you, me hearties. Tell me which one be The One – and why. You gets you extra credit for talking like a pirate. I be pronouncing the winner on April 30. If’n that not be enough, I be visiting yer website or blog and giving you they Baba Yaga Seal of Approval. Go for it. You knows you wants it.