Ahoy mateys, is you ever set out to curse some lubber and you goes, “You…you…you…” Then you gots nothing? Baba Yaga she be feelin’ yer pain. It be happening to me a time or two or 756. That be why I is coming up with one killer solution.
Meet me pals Slimy and Scurvy. If’n yer curses they gets stuck in yer craw and refuses to come out, all’s you gots to do is throw one of them in and anything it becomes they perfect mock curse. Such as for example, “You slimy load of bricks” or “You scurvy piece of paper.” See? It be working every time.
Arr, those be me last words on they subject of mock curses. Les’n they not be. You never knows in this life. But for now I be leaving you with a blessing. May yer swash never buckle and the devil never get to know yer name.